Sataurus
"This better not suck." - Sataurus Summary Sataurus is the son of former specton Form Master, Gothmog (Specton) Poofyface and a Lurtz World variety Carnotaurus, infused with the soul of the child of god Minervmo. He was formerly known by his mortal name Lurtzifer Poofyface, but since becoming lord of the dark spire has taken his godly name Sataurus. Like Harmono his god name does not have much similarity to his original other than Harmono's ablility to alter it, calling him "Satardus". Sataurus has one of the oldest histories of Lurtz World characters and the planet was named after him by Bean Bear , thanks to him unwittingly saving it with the Pandora Heart. Sataurus was the original holder of the heart sor originally embodied an asshole persona like Lurtzien . However due to not being physiologically half Pandora Heart like Lurtzien is, who was fused with Asshole-Man, Sataurus was not quite as much of an asshole as Lurtzien. Since losing the heart he is lightly less aggressive and more reasonable, but still grouchy and generally unhappy to have to deal with people socially. His queen is Goldemon (Gol-demon), who is the deceased soul of his wife inhabiting the spire. She is rarely seen as, like Lurtzien, Sataurus is quite the dominating mysoginist. Sataurus is the ancestor of Lurtzien. He lives in his Dark Spire located in the far reaches of the universe outside of LW2. Origins The origin of Sataurus begins with a half-breed named Lurtzmog, a brutish, simple minded man. Lurtzmog was primitive, spoke in a deep voice and was overly violent but not an asshole. Before the influence of the Pandora Heart there was complete chaos, the only rule being you couldn't kill family. Lurtzmog broke this rule when he killed his mate so he was punished by being crucified on a giant drum. A story that has been re-told many times over the years and depicted as the start of Lurtz World's salvation. Sataurus' soul which contained the Pandora Heart entered the dead Lurtzmog as a host. This was quite a shock on Lurtzmog's body as in Bean Universe years, Sataurus was 2000 years old, which confused the flesh vessle's brain. A new being was born, Lurtzifer Poofyface. As Lurtzifer Lurtzifer first lived in the barren Waste Land created by the time before the Pandora Heart. There he met a wide variety of Spectons and other beings, he would later long out live. The two most notable of these were Timmy and Spurmuloss, who would long have a presence in his life as Lurtzifer. He would soon assert his dominance among the popoulous thanks to the Pandora Heart. However he would be murdered by Timmy causing him to undergo his first reincarnation. Due to the immense power of the Pandora Heart, it took the reincarnation machine a while to adjust and it first glitched sending him to the defeunked "Car Dimension" that once belonged to his "parent" Minervmo. In car dimension he met his future bride, then known as "Goldy". After escaping car dimension Sataurus found that due to the Pandora Heart unregulated by the Chaos Greymatter, he was the only one left alive. However soon "Hulk ",. embedded with the chaos greymatter, arrived allowing Lurtzonians to be reincarnated again. "Lurtzifer" did not get along well with Hulk, even more so after he became Harmono and turned green. However "Hulk" still insisted on following him everywhere he went. Soon "Lurtz" was joined by a wide variety of Spectons and various sentinet species, including his rescued wife Goldy. Lurtz would establish leadership over this people becoming the first leader of Lurtz World. He would have both children and grandchildren but sadly almost none would survive. Lurtzien would end up being his only living decendant. He would go on almost uncountable advendtures, too many to recount, fighting every type of foe imaginable, across time, space, and dimesnions. During one such mission he would head to the dwarf-planet Pluto to have a final duel to the death with Ibler , one of Lurtz World's fiercest foes. In the battle he and Ibler would both be struck by a blast from a "soul" destroying weapon. Lurtzifer Poofyface's cycle would end and Sataurus would return to his spiritual form. As Sataurus Using his reputation and connections Sataurus would soon make himself lord of the Dark Spire, containing all souls to corrupt for the Soul Spire, and the darkest basic elements of the universe. Tortoyse would accept Sataurus' rule, and important act as Tortoyse has control over Tortarus the ultimate soul prison in the dark spire and where Effarigos is kept. Sataurus' first act as lord would be to send Ibler's soul to Anavrin the final circle of The Dark Spire reserved for only the worst souls. He would oversee the sentencing of Harkslovan after his flesh form was ripped apart by Peto, sending him to Tortarus, the only prison capable of holding gods, so that he never escaped and rose to power again. Sataurus sentence Destroyer-Man to be turned into the Oblivion Crystal for his crimes shortly after the destruction of LW1. Sataurus was witness to Harmono's gody promotion during the assault on Lurtzopilis. Sataurus secretly visited Buzzbeetle and warned him he would be sent to Anavrin if he was killed, but this did not discourage Buzzbeetle. Sataurus is aware of the dark energy from Smee contained within his spire, and frequently warns of it's danger if it ever got out.